LET'S BE MORE MAURA: LET'S TALK SEX

Maura Higgins, who is on the current series of Love Island, has already been hailed a feminist icon by the likes of Amy Schumer and Katherine Ryan, with Schumer saying "she's just like my homie". Women all over the country are loving how openly she talks about sex and shows just because she does, doesn't mean that she's "easy" or anyone should expect sex from her. For so long women have been told to be 'lady-like' and not use profanities or talk about "crude" subjects like sex. But ya know, why the fuck not? Whether a woman talks about her virginity or how much she wants to have sex or her sexual experiences, if men can then, why can't we?

Changing the Language

When a woman does talk about sex, it is assumed we want it or we're asking for it and will more than likely be called a "slag" by someone. Heaven forbid we then say no we don't want to have sex, we're then called a "tease" or a "bitch". This mentality around women and sex is dangerous. Our bodies are seen as objects for male pleasure and available to the man whenever they so please. This attitude needs to change, so women we need to set ourselves the task to be a little more Maura. By normalising women talking about sex it normalises the idea that women have sex and we enjoy it. Whether a woman has sex with one man or over 100, this doesn't make her a "slag" or a whore" and it doesn't lessen her value as a person or her voice and opinions. This change needs to start with women, as in my experience and many others, these sexist slurs are used just as much or more by other women. Why are we tearing each other down when we should be building each other up? There's enough hurdles for us out there, we shouldn't be creating more.

Consent and Expectations

Men then need to realise that because a woman is talking about sex, this isn't her invitation or her consent and as Tom so gracefully put it, it isn't your opportunity to see if "she's all mouth". Consent is finally being acknowledged as a serious subject, from #MeToo to women's marches. However, there is still a way to go. People need to realise consent can be revoked at any point. Whether they say no while you're kissing, while they're naked or even while you're having sex. Don't give me your blurred lines bullshit, no means no. What is so hard about that? This applies to men and women, there is very little conversation around men being raped due to it happening less frequently or shame from toxic masculinity which needs to change. From personal experience though, women are subjected to far, far, far more sexual harassment than men, as for years we've been seen as sexual objects for the male gaze. The fear so many of us feel just walking somewhere alone and the normalised culture of cat calling is disgusting. However, more women are coming together to support one another, from group chats full of women in case someone has to walk alone at night to marches, movements and protests.

The Miseducation on Vaginas and the Female Body

To talk about sex women also need to be able to talk about their vaginas. Yep, ladies say it loud and proud...vaginas. This article in Elle by Alice Azania-Jarvis, pointed out how in Sex Education, Otis easily labels each part of the vagina and she wouldn't even know where to start, which rung very true for me too. So ladies, our second task is to talk and learn about our vaginas. This includes learning the truth about our vaginas and to stop taking the bullshit we hear as face value. An example of this is the idea that our vaginas are "tighter" or "bigger" depending on how much sex a woman has. Would this be said about a man and how much sex he has? No! This is used to once again shame women and degrade them about having an active health life, except when men have multiple sexual partners they're hailed as a bachelor or a stud. Even Barack Obama has called BS on this double standard.

Another example is our hymens or our "cherries" which apparently pop when we lose our virginities or when we ride a horse (that one is a particular favourite of mine). This then creates the illusion that losing our virginity is meant to be painful and so the anxiety of this pain makes us fear sex, but I'll talk more about virginity later. We are taught that it is a bit of tissue that lays horizontal across the vagina, which makes no sense as otherwise how would we have periods whilst being a virgin? They are actually a doughnut shape in most cases with a hole in the centre, sometimes they may be like a ladder or others honeycomb. Over the years, the hymen wears from washing, walking, masturbation and many other things. This is lack of knowledge of our own bodies is problematic and most likely stems from the shame in talking about our vaginas and the poor education we get on them. This shame and embarrassment about them leads to genuine health problems with women more willing to take the risk of cervical cancer or an STI than getting a smear test or regular checks.

While we're learning about our vaginas we also need to learn about our bodies and our mental health. Learn what it can and can't handle, what is good and not good for it, what it likes and doesn't like. Then hopefully, we can be more confident in our own skin and hopefully in front of others, so then we can start to talk about subjects that we've been taught to be embarrassed by.

Sex Education

Sex education is something that needs to be improved. This needs to be done by properly and effectively teaching children about the ins and outs of sex; not just how to put a condom on but consent, genitals, orgasms, g-spots, STI's, myth-busting on the hymen and periods and statistics on sex like how 95% of men orgasm during sex whereas only 50-75% of women do (but more on that later). Oh and also for you all you homophobes out there, LGBTQ+ relationships should be being taught in schools, it isn't "too hard for children to process" and it won't "make them gay". By teaching children about these relationships from an early age it exposes them to the real world and I believe will encourage young people to express who they are, come out and probably decrease homophobia as people will understand and be educated on it. This is important as ignorance and miseducation or "fake news" is often, in my experience, the root of racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia and any other form of discrimination. 

The Virgin

Women are so sexualised in the media that as Jill Soloway so beautifully put "They call us the Madonna and the Whore. The one I want and the one I want to fuck. The one I married and the one I can't get off my mind." Men make women believe that being a "good girl" or "lady-like" makes them a better person and marriage material whereas women who are sexually active aren't trustworthy and are for flings and affairs. Women are so sexualised in society that when she reaches a certain age, if she is still a virgin they are seen as the ultimate challenge. This pressure for women to have sex but also be a perfect, innocent women shows how we just can't win!

When Maura is so direct and open when talking about sex her lack of a filter (as many would say), visibly shocks people or makes them "cringe", as once again Tom so kindly put (he really was such a gentleman wasn't he🙄). Why should women have a filter and worry about making men "cringe" when we are forced to listen to their explicit sex talk about other women and even ourselves all the time? So, back to orgasms. The fact that most women I've spoken to rarely orgasm or never have is shocking. Women are so conditioned to put a mans needs before their own to the point it extends to the bedroom. By learning more about our vaginas and talking about sex with other women, we can learn more about our bodies and what women actually enjoy.

Women if you want to have sex, then have it, and if you don't, then don't. If you want to talk about it, then talk about it, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. So, let's all be a little more Maura.

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MY SKIN CARE ROUTINE

Skin care is something I am very passionate about and when I was younger I never realised how important it really is. This is especially true for anyone who suffers with a skin condition or has something that needs a bit of TLC. If you don't need to use skin care then don't (if it ain't broke, don't fix it), just a face wash will most likely suffice! One of my main problems is eczema and dry skin. This is something I never addressed and thought it would sort itself as I didn't understand what I should be doing. My other main problem which I have mentioned before as probably my biggest insecurity is my dark circles under my eyes (I'm going to talk about my experience with mesotherapy as a treatment within this). So, one year I set myself a goal to look after my skin and I have gone from naive and occasionally moisturising to a 7+ step skin routine that is growing as I learn and research more and more about what is best and needed for my skin. I should state that not only is my skin dry but it can also be sensitive and dull.

Everyone wants to look good without make-up but neglects the steps it takes to achieve this. I used to just hope one day I'll wake up and I'll have perfect, dewy, glowing skin with no dark circles or "imperfections". Since realising I don't need to cover up my skin constantly with make up to fit into society's idea of beauty and using the right products for me, my skin has improved and is no longer as dry.

Mesotherapy

Before I get into my daily skincare routine I'm going to talk about my recent Mesotherapy to treat my dark circles. I had this done at the Smart Skin salon in Bournemouth. If you are near the area, I defiantly recommend going in and looking at all the different options available to you or get a skin analysis done which is something I did. This is where lots of different aspects of your skin from structure, sebum, exfoliation and so many more are measured. Marta made me feel very comfortable and went through what will work for me and my skin and what the results from my skin analysis mean.

For Smart Skin's recently started Instagram click here, Facebook click here and website click here.

The universal formula has a double effect - it rapidly reduces the appearance of "dark circles" around the eyes by regulating melanogenesis and normalising the blood supply. Its patented complex of 3 biomimetic peptides makes it highly efficient with no analogues in the aesthetic medicine. Mesotherapy is a technique that uses injections of vitamins, enzymes, hormones, and plant extracts to rejuvenate and tighten skin, as well as remove excess fat.

This consists of around 10 little injections which were injected into my under eye. It was slightly painful but nothing too uncomfortable. It is recommended you get top ups and then your body should start to do this naturally. I have very thin and pale skin so things like my dark circles are much more noticeable. I had the injections a couple of weeks ago and my under eye already feels more full and almost puffy or spongey (in a good way obviously) and my dark circles are less noticeable.

I understand that this will be an ongoing process and will not drastically change over night. So, while I still have dark circles, they are improved and I will most likely need a booster treatment and use under eye creams and serums in between treatments (I will talk about my favourite ones later on).

My Skin Care Routine

I can't stress the importance of not just wiping away your make up with a make-up wipe but also at least cleanse, tone and moisturise. So much dirt, oil and sweat can build up under your kin and cause break-outs or if you have dry skin like me you can end up with dehydrated,  aged and cracked skin. It is also important to not only clean your face but your neck too, rather than me listing off all the reasons why, read this. Also NEVER sleep with your make-up on where you can avoid it. Sleep is a time where our body recovers and refreshes and our skin can't do this if it's clogged ups with not only your make-up but dirt and pollution too.

Step 1

So my first step is using a simple face wash which is perfect for sensitive skin and gently removes excess dirt and make-up. I use this when I'm in the shower as it lathers and then is easy to wash away but you can also easily do this over a sink.

Step 2

I recommend cleansing being one of your base steps and should come first. It's important to find a cleanser that works best for skin type. Creamy ones tend to be better for dry skin and gels for oily skin. When dirt, oil and bacteria stick to dead skin cells in the pores they get clogged up, making them look "closed". This blocks sebum, a natural wax which hydrates the skin, sweat and dead skin from escaping. This causes a lack of sebum on the skin allowing bacteria to penetrate the follicle causing breakouts and acne. Pores can't necessarily be opened but cleanser "opens" pores by removing excess dirt, oil and dead skin blocking the pores. Cleanser can also regulate hydration by maintaining PH levels which allows for sufficient water and product retention.

As I have dry skin I use either Garnier's SkinActive Naturals Rose Water Botanical Milk or the Bodyshop's Vitamin E Cream Cleanser For Dry Skin.

Step 3

The best step to follow cleansing is toning, this is my favourite step. If you've never toned before you'll be shocked at the amount of make-up and dirt that comes off your skin even after using a make-up wipe. Toner further thoroughly cleans the skin, balances PH and prepares the skin to absorb following products. This my favourite step as it makes me feel so clean and so I would recommend trying to regularly do this step.

I like my cleanser and toner to match so I either use Garnier's Natural Rose Water Toner For Sensitive Skin or the Bodyshop's Vitamin E Hydrating Toner For Dry Skin.

Step 4

After I've toned as an extra step I use a peel to remove any excess dead skin. The one I am currently using is the Drops of Light Pure Resurfacing Liquid Peel which brightens skin. This uses Red Algae which is rich in vitamin C, minerals and nutrients. When I had my skin analysis at Smart Skin one thing that was alarming was my exfoliation, which is an area, I will admit, I am slacking in. One piece of advice that the analysis gave to improve this area is to use Glycolic acid. After reading the fancy science name I knew the first place to look was obviously The Ordinary. So after some research I found the AHA 30% + BHA 2% Peeling Solution and the Glycolic Acid 7% Toning Solution, however they recommend not to use this on sensitive skin due to the small molecules, which penetrate deeper into the skin. They recommend Lactic Acid 10% + HA 2% which is a medium strength AHA which has smaller molecules than Mandelic Acid so it can absorb deeper, but larger than glycolic molecules making it gentler. Mandelic Acid 10% + HA which is the gentlest of their AHA's as the molecules are largest and is another gentler alternative.

Lots of these acids cause sensitivity to the sun so must be followed with SPF or even avoiding the sun. SPF is actually a really important part of skin care that should be used all year round. Some moisturisers and make-up will contain SPF, however, this should be topped up every few hours. I recommend getting a SPF mist that you can use to spray over your face and make-up to keep your protection from UV rays topped up.

For more information on The Ordinary's acids follow the link, they provide so much helpful and important information on their products and how to use them.

Step 5

Serum. Another of my personal faves. So after my skin is dirt, make-up and dead skin has been defeated I apply a serum. I use the Bodyshop's Drops of Youth Concentrate which is like a gel and is very cool and refreshing to put on as it isn't thick or sticky. This product (in fact the whole of the Drops of Youth range) was recommended to me by the people at the Bodyshop and it is definitely one of my favourites. This is enriched from three different plant stems and so is natural and gentle for skin. It targets the sign of ageing and I know I'm only 20 (almost) but you should start using anti-aging products from the age of about 20 or 21.

I was recently gifted a Vitamin C Serum by Mile Simone which I am so excited to try. Some of the benefits to this are reducing dark circles and fine lines, plumping and hydrating skin, removing acne scars, anti-aging, brightening, tightening and repairing damaged skin cells while promoting the development of new ones. The use of the Vitamin C promotes antioxidant protection and collagen production, while the hyaluronic acid encourages long-lasting hydration. I am going to try and use this everyday, morning and night for best results. However, as I stressed before it is so important to research what you can and can't use with different products as some Vitamin C serums must never be layered with retinol, salicylic or glycolic acids. Therefore, if you do use one of these acids on those days using a serum like the bodyshop one may be better.

Step 6

The last of my three main steps is moisturising. This is probably the most important step of anyones skin care routine. It doesn't matter how oily your skin is, you should still be moisturising, but instead of creams you should be looking for lotions and ones with exfoliant ingredients. Obviously, if you have dry skin like me, this step is aa no brainer. I have such a wide variety of moisturisers because it is the step I have to focus on the most. The ones I currently use for everyday, generic use include the Bodyshop's Vitamin E Intense Moisture Cream, The Ordinary's 100% Plant-Derived Hemi Squalene, and 100% Plant-Derived Squalene. For a day cream I use Nivea's Daily Essentials Rich Moisturising Day Cream, and at night No.7's night cream however they do a variety of day and night creams and serums which have been proven to work, so it' easy to find one specific for your skin's needs.

If you have oily skin then finding a moisturiser right for you is just as important as for those with dry skin. Some moisturisers will dissolve and mix oil and water or balance the sebum on your skin.

Step 7

This is an important step to me personally due to my under eye dark circles. BUT, everyone should try to use a moisturiser that is specific for under eye. Many moisturisers are too thick for the skin under our eyes to absorb because the skin is very thin. I use the Bodyshop's Drops of Youth Bouncy Eye Mask which is like a cold gel, encouraging the blood circulation to the top of the skin to reduce dark circles.

My Every Now and Again Extras

Face masks are my way of moisturising my skin when it is especially dry. I do a face mask once a week but they can be done up to three times a week. I like to use sleep in masks to hydrate my skin over night, either the Bodyshop's Drops of Youth Bouncy Sleeping Mask, which was voted the best on the Beauty Power List of 2018, or their Vitamin E sleep mask, however I don't think they sell this anymore. For a normal face mask that you apply and rinse away 10 or so minutes later I use the Bodyshop's Mediterranean Almond Milk With Oats Face Mask. This is exfoliates and hydrates skin but is perfect for those who have sensitive skin. Oats are such an amazing tool for dry skin and a natural, home remedy. One of my family's top skin tricks for anyone with eczema is to put oats in a flannel or handkerchief and tie it round the tap while you run a bath. This soothes the skin from itching and irritation and works better than any cream I've been prescribed.

The Halo Face Pad

I've been making a conscious effort to do more for the environment and skin care is just one of the ways you can help. I got the halo face pad yesterday for my birthday and it is a replacement for single use cotton wool pads or make up wipes. All you need to use is water and the fibres (which are 100 times finer than human hair) deeply clean your skin. They are non toxic, reusable (you can machine wash them up to 200 times) and recyclable. Another way you can help the environment is use biodegradable cotton buds as many of them end up in the ocean.

My Favourite Brands That Actually Work

From this blog I'm sure you can work out which brands are my favourite to use. Other than the Garnier products (they were a gift from a friend) I strive to use only cruelty free and vegan skin care which are natural with no unnecessary extras like oils, parabens and sulphates. Therefore, my favourite brands are The Ordinary, especially if you want effective health care that doesn't break the bank and the Bodyshop. 

I'm always looking for new products or even information about skin care so any advice let me know. I sometimes get bad rosacea so would love to hear from anyone who has any good products to use.

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MY CIDER EXPERIENCE

After being so warmly greeted by the staff at the Stable we had a welcome glass of cider and took our seats. They taught us the difference between West Country, modern, flavoured, perry and keeved ciders (who knew there was so many types of cider?).

I struggled to pick my favourite between Crafty Nectar's No.8 and the Dudda's Tun's apricot cider. I ended up voting for the No.8 cider because of my love for rhubarb and custard flavoured things. Not only this but the bottle has drawings of different shape and size boobs on it like my phone case! The apricot cider was very delicious too and was like drinking fruit juice, so I highly recommend both if you like flavoured cider.

My next favourite was the Nightbird cider, it was light in colour and is made from dessert, cox and bramley apples so it has a very appley flavour. Another cider that tasted appley (if that is even a real word) was Cockeyed's Mad Jack, which is cloudy, 100% juice and is a West Country cider. Cider only needs to be 35% juice so any that are 100% you know are good quality. If you like West Country ciders Bumblebee's Hard Cider was popular amongst the crowd. This was a fizzy cider that I found slightly bitter like a wine or Prosecco. The thing I loved about this brand is they use bumblebees to pollenate the orchid (hence the name) and we all know those little guys need some help.  The other cider that has a cool story behind the name is Trenchmore's Silly Moo cider. This cider is 100% juice, made in Sussex from cider and mostly eating apples which they feed to the cows after and they get a little tipsy.

Hallets' PX cider is matured in a sherry cask and was smooth and not bitter. You could really taste the sherry flavours coming through, making it unique. Another cider that is unique is Ramborn's Perry cider as it is from Luxemburg and the Stable is the only place in the UK that sells it in keg form. I found it not too bitter, fresh and easy to drink. This is a pear cider and is the only one from the tasing making it even more unique.

Pilton's Murmuration cider had a strong, farm smell (which is a really good thing apparently) and way back when this was what people strived for. This cider is made with green apples which you can taste as it has that slightly bitter sweet taste. Finally, Gospel Green's cyder is a champagne cider made in Herodforshire. This tastes just like champagne which I'm not a fan of and so this wasn't one of my favourites but if you like champagne you will love, love, love this one.

The whole cider tasting experience was thoroughly enjoyable and I would highly recommend heading to your local Stable to give it a go. We even got to try Spanish cider tasting which was so fun. Even if you aren't a massive cider fan, the food that they provided us with was incredible so go try your favourite items on the menu, the staff are so friendly and will be happy to host you.

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MY FAVE I SAW IT FIRST BUYS

"What Have I Bought From I Saw It First?"

"What Haven't You Bought From There Should Be The Question?"

So I've been writing this blog post for a while and it has taken me so long because I just have too much stuff, every time i go to finish it I buy more stuff and I've had so much uni work! (As some of the items I've bought are no longer available I have linked similar).

No this isn't a sponsored post. But yes, I do love I Saw It First. Since my love hate relationship with PrettyLittleThing, i had to find a replacement to feed my shopping addiction. *Enter I Saw It First*. My new place I could go to get cheap clothes and do massive hauls without breaking my bank.  I know I Saw It First isn't that different and they do a lot of items similar to other online shops. BUT, it's the same stuff for like half the price. Urban Outfitters is probably my favourite high street shop, I love the style and unique items, but it's hard to do a haul on a student budget. That's where I Saw It First comes in.

You Can NEVER Have Too Many Tops 

I call this top my top my 'boob top' because it makes my boobs look so damn good (and trust me it's hard for big boobs to actually look good). It fits so perfectly in every way, it was from their curve section. Another style of top that does wonders for your boobs (big or small) are the ones that tie at the front. Mine have flared sleeves which make me feel like a member of Abba or like I just stepped off the set of the final scene in Mamma Mia, the first one obvs. A little tip for these tops is to check the fabric, if it's polyester they tend to fit small which is great for your boobs but tight on your arms.

At the start of the year, I bought a one sleeve black top which I love! It goes with all outfits and can be dressed up or down. A couple months ago, I ordered a one shouldered bodysuit in a neon yellow and it is honestly as bright as a yellow highlighter. It is so bright that you can see through it slightly but I love it so much I'll have to either free the nip or buy some plasters. As neon is my new thing at the moment I also ordered a neon lime turtle neck. I'm going to style this with my new black t shirt dress or under black tops. I love to contrast neon with darker colours especially black (I can't not wear black) because it makes he highlights of neon stand out more. I have to admit the neon was inspired by my friend ordering one of the classic I Saw It First lace bodysuits in a neon lime colour. I also have this in red and they are very boujee. If you have big boobs then they do fit but you have to be on high alert for a nip slip. These are perfect for wearing out as a top or more casually by styling it under shirts and blazers.

These Boots Are Made For Walking

My boyfriend bought me a pair of croc print sock boots as one of my Christmas presents as I am obsessed with sock boots. When these were 50% off you just can't say no. What I'm about to say make sense to my friends so I hope it makes sense to you. Basically, they are like grown up heels. You are walking on your toes so it is like walking in a stiletto and when I walk in them it is like learning to walk in heels when you try on some of your mum's for the first time. I don't mean they look like mum shoes because trust me the look so good, I feel like a bad bitch, they are proper heels. There is no platform under your toes making it easier to walk so they are grown up heels.

Dress To Impress

One of my season must haves was a blazer. One that I could wear to placement interviews but also 

 one I could wear a lace bodysuit under or style with cycling shorts. I already have one from Missy Empire but classic me needed another one so I bought one from I Saw It First which is perfect for these purposes. It is grey with a sort of check or gingham pattern which matches my wardrobe of black clothes. Another item of clothing with the same purpose of interview or even going out that I purchased was a pair of grey high waisted, cigarette trousers with a chunky belt attached that is the same colour. I am sure you've seen plenty of bloggers wearing these, I was first inspired by India Moon and even though I only have one pair I hope to get more as they are flattering and suit most occasions.

Dresses

I couldn't think of a witty subheading sorry guys. I've bought two pinafore dress styles from I Saw It First, one is black that you sort of wrap either side and it has a deep v neck so styled with a white turtle neck underneath you look ready to get that job you want or it even works as a cute brunch outfit. The second pinafore is a cute pink (yep I bought something that is pink) pinafore dress. This is also best styled with a white turtle neck and it is a lot more figure hugging than the first.

A jumper dress, is it a jumper, is it a dress? This is one of my favourite items which I've mentioned before in my autumn trends blog. Over the A/W seasons I collated a wardrobes worth of jumper dresses and sweater dresses. One of them being a black, chunky knit dress with a low back and a knot for extra detail. This with a belt round the waist and the croc print boots makes a perfect city break, brunch or dinner outfit.

The Staple Jumper

So the other half of the jumper dress is the jumper. Anyone who knows me knows I live in jumpers and have a huge jumper collection that is overdue a clear out. But can you ever have too many jumpers?
My knit collection was in desperate need of an update so I bought a high neck, white, knit jumper and a mustard frilly neck and sleeve cropped jumper. Mustard was the colour I pretty much lived in, in autumn and the white jumper I really wanted and so I shopped around for the cheapest one and found at I Saw It First (shock). This is my biggest online shopping tip; SHOP AROUND. Most of the online shops sell the exact same clothes at different prices so look for the best deal. Another example of this is the off the shoulder, cropped sweater which everyone got from PrettyLittleThing (I got my white one from there) but I Saw It First then did the exact the same jumper which I bought in black. I also got a rugby jumper from here which is long so with my crop cycling shorts (also from I Saw It First) creates a sort of cute boyfriend style outfit (see in picture above).

The Bottom Half

Other than my cycling shorts I haven't bought many bottoms from I Saw It First but one pair of bottoms I did buy was the paper bag waist, straight leg jeans. These fit big, I got a size 6 and the waist is still quite big but they're super comfy and they give me massive 90s vibes which is like my favourite look. They've started doing paperboy waist shorts which I need a pair of.

Accessories Are An Essential

I am OBSESSED with my black saddle bag so I can channel my inner faux Dior (I think it's out of stock so will share when it comes back). Even better, it comes with a short strap to wear on my shoulder and a longer, adjustable one that I can wear across my chest which is perfect for festivals as a stylish replacement for the bum bag. Another new out out/festival accessory I bought is a yellow belt that looks like warning tape (there's really no better way to describe it). It goes amazing with my many black clothes.
So as it is the summer, sunglasses are a must (although I can't pull off the classic sunglasses pushing the hair back look). I got a gorgeous pair of cat eye, turtle shell ones which go perfectly with my turtle shell hoops. Turtle shell is definitely a must have of the summer. I am also loving the cat eye shape for glasses this year.

Go on my Instagram (@tiaspaige) to see more of the items of clothes mentioned.

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BRUNCH LOVERS LISTEN UP

On Sunday (the day that was made brunching) of last week, I attended a blogger event at Esquires Coffee. There are so many amazing brunch spots in Bournemouth but they don't all have the charm and kind staff like Esquires do. This venue is always busy and is probably one of the most popular brunch destinations to go to in Bournemouth, probably because it's so 'Instagrammable'. Even though all the food was gifted last week, I have been here before with my friends and will definitely be back. I tend to prefer to go to independent cafés because they do fresher food and are a lot more welcoming, however, despite being a chain, Esquires still had this same feeling and quality food.

When I arrived I was warmly welcomed by Hannah who had contacted me about the event and Jonathan (store manager) and Ibrahim (store owner). The location is situated right near the centre of town, perfect for after you've done a bit of shopping to take the weight off your feet and relax with your friends. This kind service carried on throughout the evening by regularly being offered drinks, made sure we were satisfied and any of our blogger needs met. Once me and friends had sat down I ordered one of their fresh juice press' which are made from locally grown organic fruit and veg. I had one made from kale, cucumber, apple, and many other healthy ingredients. They even came in cool jars perfect for Instagram. 

The menu has so much to choose from, from your classic eggs Royale or Benedict to sandwiches or soup. Plus, not only was the food delicious but it is well in a student's budget. I ordered the eggs Royale, and as I have given up bread for lent they kindly swapped the toasted muffins for hash browns (one of my favourite things). I ordered an extra side of avocado too which was the biggest portion I've ever been given!! The poached eggs popped perfectly which every blogger wants so they can do a boomerang. After I had (almost) demolished the plate I was absolutely stuffed, but as soon as cake was mentioned I was ready for a slice. 

Esquires has such a vast display of cakes and sweet treats it was extremely difficult for me to pick just one and took me probably 10 minutes + to decide! I had the raspberry and coconut slice whilst sipping my soya milk hot chocolate and it was to die for. But, I was very naughty and Johnathon let me take home a slice of the Daim cake and the chocolate orange cake. The Daim cake, and this means a lot coming from me, was I have to say better than Ikea's, plus you don't need to go all the way to Southampton for it, you can get it right in the centre of Bournemouth. If you go to Esquires and they have the chocolate orange cake in then you have to get it as it's limited edition and the next time you go it may be gone! I will definitely be back to sample every cake. 

This is deffo the spot to go with your friends! If you're in Bournemouth get your butt down to Esquires.

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WHAT I'M WATCHING

In this blog I'm going to be talking about some of my favourite TV shows, what I'm watching and what I want to be watching. I know this is the most basic post but anyone who knows me, knows I am pretty much a pro at watching series. Whenever someone talks about a series they want to watch, I've usually watched it already. I'm known for watching a series or two within a day and finishing box sets that take my friends sometimes year within a couple of weeks. I don't know what it is but I get so invested in series or I can just watch things so easily while doing other things and tbh I just really love watching TV shows. Also there may be a couple of spoilers in her, just a heads up.

Grey's Anatomy 

Ah what a show. This show is an emotional rollercoaster and if you're an emotional person you may not be able to handle crying at pretty much every episode. So, I actually didn't think I's watch Grey's Anatomy, I just watched one episode to see what it was like and then I was going to start Mad Men. However, after one episode I was hooked and like 15 or something series later I'm still watching it and am yet to start Mad Men. This show is known for using strong women and its crazy storylines. 

How To Get Away With Murder

Like Greys Anatomy, HTGAWM is part of Shondaland. I'm sure most people have seen or heard of this show as it became huge on Netflix a few years ago. This show has been a god send for my uni student life as Annalise, the strong, black, female lead, played by the amazing Viola Davis, is the perfect character to write about. I love how intense the show is, I actually binge watched series 3 within a day!! Although, ngl I don't think the last series (4) was as amazing as the others but I'm hoping when the next series is out soon it lives up to my expectations. Also, anyone else think Annalise's students should appreciate her more? *SPOILER* She helped you cover up you murdering her husband, be grateful!!! 

Scandal

Yet another Shonda Rhimes TV show. Clearly I just love her work. Just like HTGAWM, it is intense, so dramatic and just like Grey's Anatomy it made me cry. (I cry at so many TV shows, I think I just get too into them!) And in true Shonda style, the show uses a strong, black, female lead. The love triangle between Jake, Fitz and Olivia had me all over the place. One minute I wanted her with Fitz, then the next with Jake.

Black Mirror

This show is just, wow. Like, the stuff they come up with blows my mind (and scares the s**t out of me). Especially as some of the things are being created or are even similar to things we already have. The fourth series was actually incredible. The first series took me a couple of episodes to get into and understand but after that I was obsessed. Did think the Bandersnatch film could've been better though, I was very confused throughout it. Although, I've been told I need to rewatch it and choose other options (I thought I'd chosen them all but apparently there's a lot more) and then it is really good. 

Desperate Housewives

I started watching desperate housewives on Amazon Prime and then they took it off when I was on season 5!!! I was NOT okay!! But, my amazing boyfriend bought me the box set and I finished it within a week or so.  Think this is up there with my all time faves. The drama is fab, I love it how so much happens on one little street. One thing I hate but love about TV shows is when they don't go the way I want. Sometimes this will ruin a show for me but Desperate Housewives always found their way back to what i wanted (can you tell I'm a control freak who likes things to go her way?) 😂 Since watching the show i swear I see the actors on basically every show I've watched since. 

Killing Eve

This has Sandra Oh in it, who is also the best, bad ass bish in Greys Anatomy and so I had to watch it. Jodie Comer who plays Villanelle is incredible at playing a sadistic assassin and even though she's crazy I think she's pretty sick. Smashing it in a male dominated profession I guess 😂 The show blends drama with humour and I can't wait to see the next series. There better be one after that ending. Another BBC drama that has been smashing it is The Bodyguard. It was so intense so watching Killing Eve where it would dance between tense scenes and light humour was a nice change. Side note, did anyone see Richard Madden (the lead actor in The Bodyguard) at the NTA's, he looked so different and kinda hot! 

The Many, Many Crime Shows I Watch

If you know me, you'll know I love the crime genre and watch so many different series I literally can't keep up. From all the different CSI's and NCIS' to Law & Order: SVU, Bull, Castle, 911 and so many more. I just started watching Shades of Blue and if you have any other recommendations hmu. It's kinda ironic how when I was younger ant crime show would give me nightmares now I love them.

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ONLINE SHOPPING VS. IRL

The revolution of online shopping has changed the shopping game. It's made it easier for shopaholics like me to shop which is great for them, but pretty crap for my bank account. Since the fall of some of the high street greats like House of Fraser and now HMV, it has got everyone thinking about how big an effect it could really have and how it has changed the game.

The Experience

So I'm sure everyone has shopped online and irl but what do we prefer? I love the experience of going into a shop, seeing all the clothes and being able to try them on there and then without the hassle of having to send something back. That's the thing though, online shopping has created such laziness in us that we complain if we have to walk round the corner to a post office to send something back. I mean we'd literally have to go to the shop to try it on in the first place. I think actually being able to go into a shop and try something on doesn't get enough credit. Ordering clothes and not being able to see the size, fit, colour and whether it suits your body shape is such a pain. I have a very awkward body shape to shop for as well so I constantly have to read reviews and look at measurements which can be an absolute chore. Also, IRL you can see the quality of the product and how see through a pair of leggings or a dress is. Online shops can also get away with selling bad quality clothes for cheap because people can't be bothered to send something back for a couple of quid but in a shop they just won't buy it. 

The Convenience

Although the care-free, ease and convenience of online shopping is such a breeze. You don't have to go anywhere or elbow your way through a crowd of people and hangers and leap over the clothes that have been dropped on the floor of the sale section. Sitting in bed, in your pyjamas, drinking a cuppa, 24/7. Ah bliss. Who wouldn't want to shop in bed in their pyjamas with a cuppa? It is just so accessible. You get to see all the stock and not just what's limited to that store. The sales are a lot easier to navigate online and you tend to find better bargains rather than all the cluttered mess in store. But you do have to wait for it arrive which is such a bore compared to an instant purchase in a shop. Sometimes it can take more than 4 weeks and then can you have to pay a customs charge🙄 However, next day delivery is a blessing. You can get something by the time you get up without having to leave the house and if you have unlimited delivery you can really get your moneys worth. All these online shops now doing membership kind of things where you pay for a year of next day delivery is a great idea because i'm constantly shopping and thinking f**k it i don't have to pay for delivery. Once again, not great for my bank account. 

The Perks

Both have the perk of a reward scheme where you get points however, not many clothes places do this. Two off the top of my head that do are Shein and Missy Empire (and they give you money off) and guess what they're both online. How many IRL clothes shops can you name that reward card type things. More places should do this, I'd probably be more loyal. But, online shops you have no choice but to talk to bloody customer services. Waiting for an email reply or sitting in a queue on the phone, (hold music is one of my deep hatreds in life) is such a pain unless is quick and efficient. Whereas in a shop you can actually speak to a human face to face and get an instant response. That's another benefit of IRL retail, it gives people jobs. Jobs we need!!! With all these companies going bankrupt, shutting down stores and moving online, people are losing jobs. Maybe if they made parking free or even just cheaper people would visit stores more often. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I know I would. 

Social Media Ads

Even adverts are moving online more. Social media sites like Instagram offer a cheaper but effective outlet for companies to advertise their products. I'm currently on the hunt for a placement (please hire me) in marketing/PR and a key feature in most of the job descriptions is managing social media pages and running social media ads. How crazy is that? Some peoples jobs are genuinely paid to do social media. I'll be getting paid to do something I love and run like my blog!!

So what do you prefer? Online or IRL? 

Ngl, even with the risk of shops shutting down I will still be jumping on the bandwagon of online shopping due to pure convenience. 

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